Blind
by Raynedark
Summary: Nothing hurts quite like unrequited love, right Tohma? One shot, whole.


Don't own Gravitation

He had seen them that night at the release party. The little pink haired boy gently nursing some cup of alcohol. That boy was so small and unworthy. He didn't understand the crisp fruit that lay with in the thorns. He didn't understand his lover, and yet he said he loved him all the same. He said that the past didn't matter. That auspicious boy hadn't been there for his "love" back then. He was so dense that he didn't understand that the only reason Yuki was _Yuki_ was because of his past.

Tohma sipped his own beer and sighed. He wasn't a petty person; he just had different opinions than the rest of the people at the party. He wasn't sour or unhappy; he just wanted things to be different.

His wife came up from behind him and slid an arm around his waist. He returned the gesture automatically. It wasn't that he didn't love his wife, he just, just. He loved someone else as well.

"Aren't they so cute? I think this is Eiri's first steady partner," she said with a hint of a laugh. He smiled down at Mika, "Precious," he responded trying to keep out an underlying tone of annoyance.

Disengaging from her he walked into the room over to the first group of people that, as host, he had the obligation to greet. Into the balmy, close room he went and the first group of advertisers and mixers squealed with pleasure at being graced with his presence.

It all seemed timed by now. He had released so many albums under his label that these parties were all mechanical. He only went to the really important ones anymore. For ten minutes he exchanged his small talk, listened to some brief stories and then with an elegant flair of words that artfully masked his conspicuous boredom with that group, Tohma moved along in the routine.

Methodically, he spiraled into the center of the party, hardly the eye of the storm. People parted so that he could speak with the honored musicians. It was here that he always had to waste the most time. It was all for looks, but it was an art that he had mastered. Almost no one saw through the armor he put up. But there was always that "almost"- such an indecisive word.

As Tohma seated himself on the arm of the couch next to Yuki he greeted Hiro, his cousin and Shuichi with a warm smiled and a hello. The words were mostly directed at Yuki. "Congratulations on such a fabulous new release. I can see you at the top by Wednesday." He smiled again. Yuki frowned and peered at him- into him.

Maybe the only reason that Yuki could see through his pretense was because he wanted him too. Maybe Yuki was just that good. Or was it their bond? They could see through each other because they knew what dwelt in the depths of each other. It could have been any of those, or more.

"You really think we'll hit top in three days!?" Shuichi squealed in a grating pitch. Reinforcing his defenses, he chose a smile that said neither yes nor no. He knew better than to say anything. That was one of his first lessons in being president of N-G.

Shuichi was flitting around excitedly now. That boy had too much energy. Like Ryuichi, but more-- twitchy. He needed to be sedated. Meticulously, he selected words to do the job. "Of course you will be in tomorrow to plan for the release tour, yes?" Direct hit.

"I don't even get the day off?" He flitted back to the couch and began to tear and cling to Yuki. Yuki said nothing and made no move. "You want to make it big right? Huge?" Tohma insisted. The child nodded. "Well that involves a great amount of commitment. Surely though, with all of that _energy_, you have that commitment." Another subtle dagger. The child nodded again and got a look of determination in his eyes.

Tohma didn't hate the kid. He admired his fire. Shuichi reminded him of himself when Nittle Grasper was just starting. He reminded him of the driving force in their group: Sakuma. He didn't hate the kid at all; he just despised the fact that he was harboring Yuki from real, serious, understanding love.

Shuichi was making a speech when Tohma noticed Yuki's gaze trained upon him. There was ice in those eyes. Why? He knew of course, but the question brought the comfort of feigned confusion. He loaded his own eyes with unknowing, winked, stood, and left. It was a shorter visit than usual, but not so short as to be seen as rude. He had delivered the proper message and was free to struggle out of the party, gather his wife and go home.

Around noon the following day

Aligning the last of the files for the day and stapling them, Tohma set them into the OUT bin on his desk for the secretary to pick up later. He stretched back in his chair and enjoyed the peace after finishing vital work. The rest of the day was his. He had no commitments, no work, and no bothers.

Standing and surveying his office, he decided it would be safe to leave. He closed the door and went to the elevator being greeted from all sides. As was mandatory he returned each greeting and inquired politely to each person in a hurried manner. They responded, he nodded and was back on his way.

The elevator was silent but for the whir of the mechanics as he was descended and a counterbalance was lifted. He nodded to the doorman as he pushed open the plate glass doors embossed with the sigil for the label.

On the street he hailed a cab and gave some directions. They were off. Two strangers. He was oblivious to anything about the man driving and the man had no idea who he was, presumably. It seemed a lot like Shuichi and Yuki. Oblivious lovers in a vehement dance of words, actions and industry. It was fascinating to watch from afar, but Tohma like it much better to dig his fingers into the flesh of the issue.

Perhaps he would end up being an infection in the wound he left. Maybe he could make the kid independent and be a soothing salve to Eiri. That was a win-win deal right? Tohma was good with deals. The kid would get freedom, Yuki would get the needed consolation and Tohma would get love. He smiled at the thought, but "perhaps" was another of those damned indecisive words.

The cab pulled into a driveway and Tohma got out. He dug in his pocket for his wallet and paid the man giving thanks and sending him off. When he turned around the door to the house was open and Eiri was standing there, glasses, frown and cigarette adorning his face. "What the hell do you want?" he asked.

"How nice of you to invite me in," Seguchi said sweetly and stepped over the threshold. Yuki moved aside and shut the door after them.

"Seriously, what do you want? I have a deadline in like a half hour so I can't waste any time OK?"

"You always were a procrastinator," Tohma seated himself on the couch. Yuki played good host and put coffee on then went and sat across from the blonde keyboardist from his past and present. They were silent. The coffee maker sang a song of heating and pouring. It had a solo for quite sometime before Tohma presented his case.

"I think that Shindou-san is bad for you," he stated with a smile. Yuki raised an eyebrow and put out his cigarette. "Why?" he said after doing so.

"He doesn't know you like _I _do. He has no clue what you were like before. He only knows the Yuki that came after and that's the one he loves. I love _both_!"

"Heh, that's a bold statement."

"I'm a bold man."

"Who doesn't love me."

"I do," Tohma insisted hurt. He loved Yuki! Of course he did. He had been there for him all. It was too confusing. Why wasn't his love being returned? "Do you love me?" he asked.

Yuki put his hands behind his head and averted his gaze. Licking his lips, "Look, you're my brother-in-law. I'm obligated to love you because my sister does. She's mad about you, you know?" Eiri was trying to change the subject. This was distressing him. It was distressing both of them. Tohma moved closer to Yuki.

"Is that all I am to you? An in-law?"

"Bluntly, yes."

He moved closer, "Why do you love Shindou?"

"I don't know. I guess I like his innocence or something. I guess I need an idiot in my life or something. Maybe he's the emotion I don't seem to have."

"I could be that too," Seguchi whispered, he was beginning to crawl over the lounging form of Eiri Yuki. Yuki tensed. "I know you so much better. I know what makes you tick. I know what you like, and there's so much I could learn. Why don't you love me?" He whispered the last words directly into Yuki's ear.

Eiri was frozen. He couldn't move for fear of evoking whatever the blonde leopard had brewing within. There was a tint of fear in his eyes that focused on a point on the wall.

"I could be everything you ever needed. I can love you so well," he hissed into Yuki's ear. The soothing sounds of a vile seduction. "I can take you places you never thought you could go. I could do things- bend your mind, Eiri." He began running a hand down Yuki's chest.

The hand was traveling down his body, fear was locking him up, but instinct took over and he pushed Tohma off just in time. "You're just like him!" he yelled standing above the strange man who said he had love. "You're just like him. You think you know me so well and that you can make everything better, but you're just a superficial bastard that just wants my body."

"No! I don't want your body. I-" A babbling and frightened Tohma was cut off. "Then what do you want? Is it that you just can't stand to see me with someone else? He was like that too. He thought he was the only one that could make me happy. He thought that after I had been broken I would succumb to him willingly. I didn't want to be broken, and I didn't want to succumb so I killed him. You know that, damn it, and you're making me go through this again. Maybe that's the real reason I love Shuichi, because he doesn't know and because he can accept it without having to know all the friggin details!"

Yuki had that look in his eyes. His pupils were dilated to mere pinpoints and he had a fury raging out on his face. "No! Don't kill me! Please, I'm so sorry. I never came to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. I can't- that's not what- that isn't _my _role. I'm the healer, the _healer._"

Yuki calmed. The fear he had instilled in this powerful man now sprawled on the floor alerted him that he was going to a dangerous place. "I'm sorry. No, I won't kill you, I couldn't Tohma. You mean a lot to me. You were always there for me. I love you, but not in that kind of way. You are a close friend and ally. A brother!"

Tohma was on the floor crying. Yuki knelt. He didn't want Yuki's sympathy. He didn't want it from the person that had just extinguished what had burned in him so long. He did though. He hated the emotional paradoxes of complex situations. He needed to be held now. It was true. He was just like that teacher that had nearly hurt Eiri so badly. He wanted to take away Yuki's happiness just like that man had. He would have shattered Yuki.

"How could I have been so blind?" Tohma sobbed as he was drawn into Eiri's strong arms. "I thought I was doing good. I thought I could be the healer!"

"Shh Brother. Shh, that job's taken. I can never have enough friends though. I can love my friends too."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt-" He bawled into Yuki. He cried and let himself be cradled as his logical mind sorted it all out. He was like the man that had hurt Yuki so long ago. He hadn't aimed to hurt him though, but actions have a strange way of reversing themselves. He was doing damage by doing what he thought was healing. He was losing the feeling of mad love to the feeling of impassionate lust. He was gaining a feeling of deeper, yet, strained friendship. He was also gaining a brother.

Pulling away from the embrace he wiped his eyes and smiled. He was still hurting, but he was going to be OK. Things were clearing up. He wasn't seeing through a veil anymore. He was opening his eyes for the first time in a long time. He laughed a bit and accepted a cup of warm, strong coffee graciously.

The following day

"So Sakano, I would like you to run things while I'm gone. Be Vice President. I certainly know you're qualified enough. Do you think you can handle it?"

"Seguchi-san! I- I don't know what to say." Sakano was kneeling on the floor next to Tohma sobbing happy tears and kissing his hand. "Will you say yes?" Tohma pulled his hand away and dried it. "It isn't like I'm asking you to marry me, geez," he muttered as he dried.

Sakano stood up and saluted him, "I will do it!" he then passed out. Tohma called his secretary and she dragged him out of the office. Settling back into his chair and setting feet on his desk he picked up the phone and dialed his wife's cell phone.

"Hellew?" she answered.

"Hey Mika my love," he cooed.

"I love this new kick your on, I feel like a goddess."

"Heh, I'm glad."

"I can hear a smile in your voice."

"Hey, honey?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's move to the country. Okinawa or something, and have lots of kids. We can revamp an old farmhouse or something and have a little garden and real nice neighbors. They'll forget who I am after a while."

"What about the company?"

"Sakano can handle it. I made him Vice. He can do it if he ever wakes up."

"What about Yuki, don't you love _him_?" Tohma was quiet. His mind flickered back to what had happened.

"Of course I love my brother-in-law."

"Aren't they one in the same?"

"Sure."

"You're smiling again, why?"

Well there ya go! I was gunna kill him off, but I decided against it. I gotta thank Ragnarok Dragon-chan. We seemed to bounce off each other. I'll read her stuff and get a muse vice versa. You rock!

HULY you rock as well! Our talking about who never gets dead got me going. You were the spark and you can't have the flame without. How's my grammar by the way? I tried harder, honest! That's for you too Speller Sama!


End file.
